As Gareth Southgate’s England side got their 2020 European Championships campaign off to a winning start on home soil, England fans receiving the ‘Vaccine Against False Hope’ in Paddy Power’s latest skit refused to have their spirits dampened.
Raheem Sterling’s strike, the only goal of the game and the matchwinner against Croatia, has sparked a feverish-type feeling among Three Lions supporters, as shown in Paddy Power’s newest video.
“In a year when vaccines have been top of the news agenda, it’s immunisation of a brand new kind that has these people queuing in their droves,” the news anchor, Kate Sheffield, began.
“This time, the hottest property in biotechnology is the vaccine against false hope, being rolled out here to those most vulnerable: England fans.”
The video then cuts to an interview clip of a ‘doctor’ administering the inoculation who explained how the false hope could give rise to an ‘It’s Coming Home pandemic’.
“These things come in cycles,” said Doctor Jones, an expert in ‘False Hope’. “We see it for every tournament. The team qualifies, wins a couple of friendlies and then we see hope levels skyrocket. Before you know it, they’re starting to think they’re like Brazil from 1970.
“We’ve already seen some quite severe cases. Yesterday, we treated a man with a Euro 2020 winners tattoo and today we had a worrying report about a newborn baby called Phil. I mean, who calls their baby Phil in 2021?
“These things may seem trivial, but if collectively we don’t stop the spread of false hope, we could be looking at a fully blown ‘It’s Coming Home’ pandemic.”
However, one Three Lions supporter covered in Union Jack face paint confidently declared: “If Kane had squared it to Sterling against Croatia, we’d have won the World Cup. Simples.”
When asked who is capable of beating England in the tournament and whether France – the tournament favourites – could take the trophy, another fan reasoned, “France? Who’ve they got?” to which the reporter replied “Mbappe?” only for the England supporter to retort “Yeah, and what if he has an off day?”
With chants of “Come on England” from enthusiastic fans drowning out the reporter in the background, she concluded: “And as the Euros are upon us, it’s reassurance to know that for once, England as a country will be safe from false hope.
“At this point, it’s worth noting that the vaccine is only 99% effective…”